You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
