That's when you crack a 10am beer
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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