Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
