called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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