I faked an abortion last night.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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