HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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