Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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