i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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