I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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