yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
