i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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