She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
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dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize