he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
