i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
