I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
