I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
