Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
