My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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