I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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