Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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