you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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