OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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