none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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