my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize