just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
