it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
