quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
