I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
