Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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