I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
