I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize