A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
