He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My pussy is not your playground.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
