She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
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...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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