1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
