Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
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Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm having to shit out rocks
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