Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
two words...techno handjob
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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