Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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