He is an equal opportunity slut.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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