I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
