Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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