he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
