i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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