I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
