She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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