i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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