gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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