I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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