So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sext me about skeletons
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
