It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
