You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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