you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How external is "for external use only"?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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