how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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