On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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