I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
