i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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