I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
