yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
