Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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