ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
