I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
