just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
