i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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