we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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