Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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