therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
