I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
