Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize